Why have I not written for so long? Well life has been so crazy and time seems to be slipping right between my fingers. I cant believe Adam only has 2 more weeks of school. It seems like just a few months ago he was starting. Now he is almost done and we will soon be on our way to MN. I feel like lately I need to cherish every second I have with my family and friends. We will soon be moving and I wont have access to them like I do know. I keep trying to think of ways that I can let everyone know how much I love them. I hope that know deep down. Lately I feel like I'm turning a corner in my life. Things will never be the same. We are selling the house, my car, and anything else that needs to be left behind. I am scared of the future... I worry and fret that I will miss everyone and everything. But I need to be brave and accept what is going to happen. I need to be grateful that Adam has a job and I am. I love my husband dearly and I am so grateful for his sacrifice. I come home at night and see him studying and I am so glad I have him. We have had some major trails and stresses this last few months and I don't think I could handle it with out him.

I also feel like I am turning into an obsessive freak because we started trying to have a baby. That hasn't worked out so well. Its been 9 long months and still nothing. I feel like anyone who comes in contact with me gets pregnant.....(ok ok not my mom or grama) but anyone of child bearing age is. I feel bad for Adam because I cry every time someone new tells me they are expecting. I know deep down that everything will be ok in the end. But its still hard. I feel so helpless because I have read countless books, listened to tuns of advice and tried to be as patient as passable. It seems like the stars have to aline and things have to be just so..... but then I listen to girls that try for a month and WABAM a baby pops out in 9 months! How is this possible. Well technicaly speaking I know how it works , you start with an egg and 1 little spermy ...... yada yada yada. I just long for a baby to call my own. A beautiful child that looks like my sweet husband and I. I see my friends and family with there babies and children and I cant help but want for a little family of my own. This must be a trial that I am meant to bare and I hope I can learn what HF wants me to. I am so grateful for Nancy who listens to me complain and go on an on about everything. Thank you for being there for me and I love and appreciate you. Sorry to anyone who becomes pregnant around me....I will do my very best to not get jealous.